Life's directions

Maybe now that the little one sleeps better I can blog again?

I know I thought I was going to not eat out anymore. Ha! There is a resolution down the drain. Life is just too crazy for that. Especially now. Gabe has Cub Scouts, Karl works a ton, and I got a job. It wasn't supposed to be more than seasonal work, but they asked me to stay on. I of course can't say no to money! Except we've gone through half a dozen flaky sitters or good sitters that needed more hours causing them to look elsewhere.The whole thing has left me near tears with worry and frustration. Hubby of course is ready and more than eager to see me quit. I'm just not ready though. I like the job, and love the people. It gives me time out, and even though I'm making next to nothing after child care I am bringing home a pay check.

I'm really not sure when the last time I wrote here was. I'm not sure if I ever wrote about my decision to finally go for it, and jump into something I have been reading and studying for a long time. Birth! I am doing my training to certify as a birth Doula. At the moment I can claim myself as a Doula in training, or really I could just say I am one and never certify as I keep reading that so many do. I kind of want that piece of paper though. I did get to attend my first birth for a friend on Christmas Eve. It was amazing! I'm so ready to do this forever! Her birth was wonderful and pretty naturally perfect.

All of my learning has caused me such stress when it comes to observing other women who are not clients prepare for something so important. These women have spent hours researching cribs, but when you ask them about their birth plan they simply shrug and say "The doctor will decide." Really?! You have a choice, and some that you make at the very start of your labor can change everything about how it ends. You don't really HAVE to get that epidural because your cousin or sister or neighbor told you to. You don't HAVE to be induced because they fear a "big baby". You don't even have to give birth at the hospital with people you don't know. You have CHOICES! Don't wait until that kiddo is out to start parenting. Do the reading. Understand why some many of the standard procedures on induction, c-section, and birth in general are changing back to a more hands off approach. There is a very high infant and mother mortality rate in this country and it must be fixed. The best way is to be informed!

I feel so much better now.

My sweet children are doing wonderfully. I had a quick word with my son's teacher the other day, because my son was stressing about his writing. His teacher said he is doing very well when he stays focused. The baby  is doing great as well. There has been a huge adjustment to me working. Once she has had a sitter a couple of times and gets to know them she does pretty well with them. I just wish I could keep one. It's very hard to have these women in and out of her life. She has been going to sleep for her daddy though which to me is awesome. I went out for a run the other evening. I was gone twenty three minutes, and when I returned she was sleeping! Her vocabulary is coming on fast furious. She is working her way to full sentences pretty quickly. She is still nursing I'm happy to say. Sometimes I think about weening her, but she is just not ready. She finds comfort in nursing that nothing else gives her when she is overwhelmed by her little world. I can't take that away from her. I however would love to have my breasts back!