Great weekend

The kids and I packed ourselves up this weekend and headed down to Fort Wayne. Gabe was very nervous in the morning on Friday before heading off to school. Lots of tears and a long face. He was pretty happy about the adventure when we got in the Jeep though. I had put blankets and snacks back there. You would think I built them a fort.
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We got down there with only minor insanity. We were about thirty minutes from our destination when they started to argue about who owned the stars in the sky. All in all thirty minutes out of three hours isn't bad.

Since we hadn't made any appointments to look anywhere there wasn't too much we could do. All though me being there seemed to kick the guys into actually contacting the realtor that they said they were going to talk two weeks ago. We did hit the science museum which was really great. We actually spent most of Saturday there, and the kids did not want to leave. We also drove out to one of the houses that we want to look at. It seems to pass so far.

Yesterday was sort of a slow day. We did a bit of driving around, and went to Target, so Karl could get an idea of what gifts to buy the kids for Christmas. He really wants to do it this year. I so don't see that working out well though. We'll see I guess. I love my hubby but doing things like that in a timely manner is not his forte. When we got back it was pretty much time to pack up and leave. Both kids broke down, and did not want to leave. I spent most of the three hour drive with sobbing kids.

Day 2

This is day 2 of Karl being in Fort Wayne, and us being here. So far other than missing him it hasn't been that tough. We have cub scouts tonight though. That should be interesting. I need to find out if I should be turning his binder and stuff over. I hope he got a hold of someone about what awards the kids got this month.

I'm doing all the packing I can, but we still don't have a place there! The place we had a lead on may be out, so I'm not sure where to go from here other than just leave it up to Karl. 

Three days left

I'm not sure if things are coming together, staying the same, or falling apart these days. I'm just trying to roll with it. That is not my best quality and for sure goes against my nature when it comes to running the house. I had a bit of a bump in getting things done. My step-grandfather died. I was at his funeral instead of looking for a place to rent last Monday. I was where I needed to be though. We ended up telling our landlord we would be moving out sometime in the near future, but no idea when. I'm buying my mom's Jeep from her. I ended up being able to pick it up on Monday night, since I wasn't far from my Grandpa's at the time. It's weird to have two cars, and until March or so we'll have two car payments which is a bit daunting. We needed it though. We'll be able to cover the payments no problem at least. Karl needs a phone. We'll be shopping for that tonight. He got a PC set up to take with him. He will be heading down on Sunday night, and we probably won't see him until Thanksgiving when we go down to see him. I really wish we were all going this weekend. Karl will be doing most of the house hunting now. He'll do fine at it I think. The pressure to get us down there will help him to get things done.

Packing though has not made a lot of progress. I wasn't home from Saturday to Monday night. I had big plans for that Saturday. I just keep hoping things keep moving forward. They have to, don't they?

Holy Crap!

We're moving! I don't just mean from one rental in the city to another, or that we bought a house. Karl got a job in Fort Wayne IN. Kinda flustered with all that goes with moving right now. He starts working there in about a week, and I will be here with the kids until we can find some place. I will also be in charge of pretty much all the packing, and probably spend a good deal of my time online looking for a place to live. A part of me really wants to not be picking, and just find a cheap house to rent. Then I think about how much I dislike our neighbors now...yeah we'll have to be a little picky. Plus, finding a decent school when we don't know the area. Not that home schooling is totally off the table. Gabe is a very social kid though, and just does better with having other kids to play with daily.

I'm also trying to continue working on my certification. I will have to throw my name out in the ring all over again, but I believe I got a start on that already. I've been working on stuff to add to my website, but just have not had the time to edit it, and get it on there. If life weren't crazy I would be bored stiff though.

Balancing act

I'm doing that fun juggling act of balance the kid's stuff, my doula business , our family stuff, and keeping up with the day to day chores that we must do to keep any kind of foundation under our feet. Last week I spent a good portion of my days cleaning the house. Both in the sense of cleaning out dirt, and cleaning out chaos energy that seems to be building up. It seems to have worked out pretty well. Things are humming along in new and interesting ways around here.

Gabe and Karl are working on scouting stuff. The first Pack meeting was last weekend, and I'm hoping Karl will get on figuring out a meeting place here really soon. He offered to be leader now he needs to step out of his comfort level and lead! The first parent meeting for the school is tonight. I hope I don't forget by tonight! The dad group is on Friday. Cyan is taking a dance class this fall, and it starting to think about actually going out with the other kids. I won't pressure her though. Children with anxiety do not do well with being told to just do it.

My workshop was well written, and ready to go. No one showed though! I was scheduled for the end of the day, and people were pretty much gone by then. I think I need to do some things differently with it. I would make an excellent web page though, so I think that is what I will do with it. Nothing is ever lost right? I'm of course working on my education, but I am also going to begin working harder on marketing. Making sure I schedule into my day is going to be key. I know my stuff. I just need to work on getting clients to be able to find me!


We spent a good portion of this weekend at ArtPrize. It's such a fantastic time. We still didn't even get near seeing everything, and we were out there all day on Saturday and half of yesterday. I guess we'll just have to go back!

Taking deep breaths

Summer has just been flying by here. We've done tons of stuff this summer. I swear we've been running all over the place. Since I last wrote there we have logged about eight more hours in the car. I'm really starting to look forward to fall, and spending more time at home. At least we're hoping.

I have been slowing working on getting my name out there. I know it's a process, and the more you do the better. It has been a tough balance with us leaving nearly every weekend though. I am giving a workshop this year at PPD. It will be geared towards the idea that child birth is a life ritual not a medical procedure. I am pretty excited about it. I just need to get working on righting up the ideas that keep rolling around in my head.

We are also getting ready for the school year here. Gabe will beginning the second grade, and I'm hoping things will be good this year. We cut Red 40 out of his diet this summer and have seen some positive results with his ADD. We still may go the medical route, but there are a few other diet changes we may try as well. Along with maybe some extra exercise. I plan to pack his lunches this year help keep Red 40 out of his system. It's in TONS of stuff. Nearly all candy, most red foods, lots of orange foods, and even some brown and white foods. Pretty much if it's a processed food, it has Red 40 in it. Kinda gross actually.

Fantastic Day

So yesterday the big pink bus for Milk for Thought was here in GR. I have been talking to another doula that was working to get this accomplished, and finally got to meet her face to face. I got to meet a few others as well. I didn't realize until today though that one of the Midwives that I know through other things was there as well. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. It was a great day. Lots of moms came out with tiny babies, and bigger babies. Show some boobies! Breastfeeding to at LEAST one is a fight worth fighting! I'm so proud of my friends that are fighting this fight. It's not easy.

The kids ended up wading, or in Gabe's case laying in the fountain. Yeah, he was wet for hours afterwards. He wasn't hot though! I wish I had brought the camera for that. I can't seem to find it though. I'm sure it's around here somewhere. When we unpacked from camping it got put somewhere though. I just need to figure out where somewhere is. I would love to add pictures to my blog on a regular basis, and now that I can just stick the memory card in my laptop life has gotten easier...I suppose I should put find camera on my to do list for today. Along with finally completing my mission to go to the library from Wednesday when it started raining about two minutes into our walk. It's a mile to the library. I'm not about to walk that in the rain.

Working by butt off!

Well, at least for my business. I tried to go out for a run last night, and Cy woke up just as I was walking out. My wonderful, supportive husband offered to lay with her and try to get her back to sleep so I could go. I just didn't want to risk her staying up late like she has been doing when she falls asleep early and wakes back up. I have managed to get a bunch of stuff done this week and last on my doula work. I got another book report done, bought a magnet for the car, bought a new printer so I can actually print things here at home (our old one hasn't been printing well for a long time), and now I'm getting ready to start on doing info pages. I will be putting them both on here, and on my website. Blessedbyherbirths.com I'm very excited to start working on them. So far I think I'll do one on cloth diapers, since I've looked and tried all the different types at this point.

Summer has just been flying by. The kids are starting to get bored though, and I'm running out of ideas. I'm ready to start back to school shopping. First I must go birthday shopping for Gabe though. He'll be eight on the tenth of August. It's hard to believe sometimes.

When trees show you your roots

This past weekend we were staying in a camp ground in Northern Michigan. Near Traverse City, to be more precise. As I was sitting at the picnic table I looked up at the evergreens growing  there.  At  first thinking nothing much about that fact that they grow in rows.  Then the memories,  and stories of where I come from began to come flooding back.

When  I was little and traveled up north, I believed that pine trees  grew in rows.  I remember driving down the road looking down the rows of trees for miles. It only made sense right? How else would they get there?

As it turns out my family had a hand in that. You see my family on my Mother’s side was originally from Alcona County, Michigan.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcona_County,_Michigan  I’m not totally sure that they ever were loggers, but I’m kinda guessing they were. For a very long time logging was a means of survival during thin years.  I do know that my mother once told me that when the government offered land and money to replant.  I had family that jumped at it. She told me that my grandmother helped to fill in the dirt around the trees as a child. Rows and rows of them. My grandmother is gone now.  She died while I was pregnant with my daughter. Those trees that so many people toiled to plant to save Michigan from our soil washing away in the horrible and destructive way that only humans can cause are still here though. They are tall. So tall in fact that they block out ground cover, and leave no habitat for the animal below them.  

My mother went to DNR planning meeting a couple of years ago where they discussed this issue. We are much smarter in the way we harvest trees now. Some areas will have to be cut or thinned in order for new growth. That is the cycle of the forest after all. Fire can no longer be allowed to run free and take life as it once did.  It will be sad for some of us though when those planted rows of trees are gone. They are as dear to us as a family homestead. In fact many of us have roots that run here in Michigan that are just as deep as tree roots.  My grandfather wears a pair of moccasins like he was born to wear them.  We all have an uncanny ability to wander in the woods, and never be lost.  My family replanted Michigan. We harvested when society would have us starve, and we breathe in when those rows of trees breathe out.

Even in times when the humans of this state feel like it is a lost cause do to jobs. There is a heart that beats here. It will continue as long as those with old roots care for it. They will always walk our woods. Paddle our streams. Harvest our animals and fish our mighty lakes. Michigan is a gift given to those that are tough enough give back.

Isn’t it interesting how a simple memory brought on by trees can remind us of who we come from? I may no longer live in Northern Michigan, but I still feel like I’m home every time I go there.

A week of vactiion did us good

I feel like we ran all over the place but I managed to make four batches of strawberry jam. Karl got four gallons of strawberry wine started, and strawberries for four more are in the freezer. Someday I would love to say that it's our fruit, but not this season. I did put up a jar of jam on Etsy to see if it sells. We sold one to a friend too. The black raspberries are going ripe, so maybe they will be next. I would love to snag some cherries next weekend when we are up north. The cherry festival is this week and weekend in Traverse City. My mom is competing in dock diving with her dog. I wish we were going, because it's tons of fun, but with going up there next weekend we decided not to go anywhere. Our bank account can only take so many hits when it comes to gas.

Here is the link to my Etsy shop.

Up and drinking coffee

It was long night, so I'm not really sure why I'm awake. I've actually been awake since before seven. Cy is cutting teeth, and wanted to nurse all night long. To the point that I was begging her to take her water bottle and roll over. To which she cried, and yanked at my shirt until I gave up. Then I woke up this morning with a need to escape the bed, and come down stairs for some alone time before I face the day. I love to sleep in, but this is pretty nice too. Actually I should go see why Karl is still in bed. He's playing golf today after work. He and his friends found a place where they can use the driving range, and play half the course for six bucks. He hasn't golfed since high school or maybe freshman year of college, so that should be plenty. Opps! He's up!

I'm almost done rereading one of my books so I can write a decent report on it. My last one was pretty slim, but I found the book lacking in what I was looking for out of it. This one I actually like, and find myself pulling it out pretty often. It will also be going with me to births for awhile, since it has a nice cheap sheet on different labor and birth positions. I know that I'll probably not pull it out since most of them are really ingrained in my head (Like another million birth facts and figures), but it makes me feel better to know it's in there! I also have a few of my other assignments that are half done. Mostly because they business growing stuff, and within the next two years what I don't have done at this moment I will need to at some point. There are some other assignments though that look like tons of fun, but I need a quite day at the book store or library to work on them. Reading and some computer work I can get done at home. The actual writing that takes real train of thought, and the ability to proof read... Ha! Although as I'm sitting here in the nice quite of morning. I'm really considering getting up at six to get stuff done. The bonus of working at a public place is that when you have a stack of birth books people ask what your doing.

I'm not sure I'll get the time this weekend though. Tomorrow we will be fruit picking. We were planning on getting strawberries this weekend for both preserves and wine. I didn't make strawberry preserves last year. I made peach, blueberry, and apple butter. I thought I still had plenty of peach, but when I went downstairs to grab more I realized I only had three jars left. So we'll be getting peaches this year as well. I'm not sure if Karl wants them for wine or not. I do know that he is taking the last week of June off, and has plans to get a bunch of wine started. We currently have last year's apples juiced and frozen, dandelion flowers frozen, and lilac flowers frozen. All are just waiting for their time. With fruit season here already it's time to get moving! We seem to go through what Karl makes really fast, but Karl makes small batches and what we don't serve to family and friends we give away. I'm also considering making extra batches of preserves and putting them up for sale online. I'll stash the money for our farm fund. We'll see if I get that ambitious though. I should have a good deal of veggies to put up this summer too. I'm going to try really hard to get over to my Dad's house when he cans to tomato based sauces and get family recipes. They aren't gettable over the phone, because none of them are written down!

Cy is awake. My time is up.

I need clients!

I was reading my favorite blogger's birth story today, and found myself wishing for another baby. Craving the home birth that I wanted so bad with Cy.  At this point there is no way I could talk Karl into another baby, and the truth is the though of a third child in this house. Do the baby stuff again...it just makes me shudder. I am a birth junky though, and am very happy to live through others. I need clients! I just love to breath in the excitement of having a new baby, and then come home and play in the back yard with my big babies. The kind that walk and talk, and are cool with mommy leaving the house for a few hours.

It is day three of summer vacation. Hubby had a fantastic party Saturday, and since then things have been laid back. Karl has been working, and the kids have been playing together well. Gabe has been making a fort on his lower bunk and they play under there a least a couple hours a day. It's really nice to see them play, and not just Cy taking toys from him and screaming. It's great to be able to get a couple things down while they are playing too. I got the floor vacuumed yesterday without help! My kitchen is clean! I was starting to feel like that would never happen again. I've even been thinking about pulling out my knitting. I still have some papers to write though, but that takes my thinking and less noise than I currently have. I have been considering doing some walking this summer and see how far we can get. Gabe has been wanting to ride the city bus system. It's about a mile and half to the nearest stop. It might be kind of fun though. I have a nice light weight city stroller. Maybe we could take it over to see Karl, and then hang out on 28th street until he done working. We'll see how bored we get this summer.

Tonight we are heading to the library. Hopefully Cyan will stay quite long enough for us to get done what we want to do. She's been going nuts about horses the last few days, so maybe some horse books will do it. 

Cy is sleeping, so I should be cleaning the house or reading a birth book, or writing up a assignment. Writing in my blog is part of my business too though right? At least in this day and age it is.

I'm so giddy to use all the neat tricks I'm learning or have learned. I need clients though! A couple of weeks ago I gave out maybe ten business  cards to different people while out and about, and made friends with one of my son's friends that is about to start trying for another baby.  Getting your name out there can be a slow thing if you aren't able to dedicate tons of time to it.

This week has been pretty much about getting ready for Karl's birthday party. He turned 30 last week. It seems like a celebration is in order. We finished the garden this week. We put in extra beans and peas this year. Hopefully we have crop enough to put up for fall and winter. Our space is so limited, because of the trees in our backyard. It's a love, hate relationship with those things. I'm also not completely convinced that two of them are technically trees. They seem to be some sort of choke cherry. They also continue to try to make limbs on the lower part of the trunk, which I'm almost certain trees don't do. Karl is pretty allergic to the flowers it produces too. They are finishing falling off this week, so he's hoping he'll be off allergy meds and have his voice back by this weekend. Next year we are considering local raw honey for both he and Gabe.

Gabe's school year ends tomorrow. I will be so glad to have him move on. His teacher wasn't terrible, but her communication was pretty bad at times. Oh! He hit the ball at his baseball game last week. It was his first hit ever! We are just so proud of him for trying so hard this year, and improving.

I don't take parenting lightly

This blog entry has been rolling around in my head for over a week. Baby girl is a baby no more! She turned two on the 28th. Guess what? She's still nursing. Do I want her to wean in the near future? Yes, but I'm not pushing her very hard. She had such anxiety issues, and she is finally coming out of them. I want it to be her idea, and I know that it's the best way.

While my father was here Cy climbed up in my lap and nursed. My Dad actually said to me "You haven't broken her of that yet." Now if it hadn't been my father my response would have been something along the lines of "I didn't realize my daughter was a horse." Instead I just ground out a no, and ignored the fact that my Step-mother couldn't make eye contact while I was nursing. That I found hysterical.

The thing that drives me up the wall though is that he is always doing shit like this! I know why I parent the way I do. I don't do something because it's the way it used to be done, or because it was done with me. I research and research and research some more. I think about everything. I know why I'm still nursing my daughter. I know why I don't vaccinate my kids. I know why I don't spank. I know why I co-sleep. I can't say I won't change my mind on something. After all new research happens everyday. You can bet your ass though that I'll want to read it. I have to say though that my kids are pretty fantastic, and I think the things we do are the reason. I have no intention of changing how we parent for those that don't understand, and would rather be critical than ask me why.

The crazy things you figure out

So I have always wondered why Cy's tongue looked strange to me. She can pull it to the side in this strange way that I've never seen before, and it almost looks forked in the middle. I honestly just thought it was weird, and left it at that. Until...my friend had a baby in February. After a month of painful, bleeding breasts, and being told there was nothing they could do. That nothing was wrong. She started looking at tongue tie websites. She figured out that he was in fact tongue tied. Then she sent me the link. Holy Shit! There was a picture of a tongue just like Cyan's. It's never bothered her or her nursing, so I really don't have any plans to have it clipped. Her tongue it not even that pulled in.

Here is the kicker part. I was telling my husband about it. He then stuck out his tongue. He is more tongue tied than she is! No wonder his mom complains about the hell breastfeeding was for her! He has often complained that when he sticks out his tongue it hurts. I honestly never put it together. He even laughed that he has said many times that he would love to just cut that skin under his tongue. Which is really what would help. I don't foresee him doing that at 30 years of age, but it's just crazy to figure something like that out after all these years. Oh the things you learn.

Oh the bliss of time!

Well at least a little more time and less stress anyway. I'm working on a book report tonight for my certification. At least the first portion of it. Then I'll head downstairs to help hubby break apart dandelions for wine. I'm waiting on my business cards and then I'll be hitting the streets! Lots of meetings, and play groups. Actually, it should be a lot of fun.

Progress!

I did it! I quite my job! Granted I only had it for six months, but it was still hard to do. I loved all the people I worked with. Such a happy group! I have just one more week to go, since I gave notice last week. It is a relief not to have to schedule it into our lives. I will miss the extra cash, but really it wasn't that much anyway.

I have also taken leaps in my doula training. I have a name! I sort of just hit me. I have been getting signs from the Goddess to get my butt moving for months. During the full moon at Ostra I walked outside and got this screaming message that I needed to move! To do what I was meant to do. I was blessed with the second child I wanted so badly (I really should tell that story sometime). I have the knowledge. Hell! I was even given a job, so I could pay for my certification. I have applied for other jobs over the years, and after so many years of not working. I'm still not sure why they pulled my application from the pile. I even applied late for holiday help. I can't help but think the divine had a hand in that. It was a struggle to work there, but you don't just get handed gifts. So with all this it hit me. I named my business, Blessed by Her Births. Because I am in so many ways. After that a few of the important but simple things began to roll. Karl immediately bought the domain, and set up my email. I put up a site this week. It's simple and there isn't much on it just yet, but it's a start. I ordered my business cards, which will be here soon I hope. I've spend some time working on assignments when I can. Really as much work as the assignments are. I still have to spend a great deal of energy getting clients. Without my five clients I cannot certify after all.

Waiting for rain

Hurray for sleeping babies on warm nights! Now if my freaken neighbors can just keep their mouths shut outside, and not wake her up we'll be all set. It smells like rain, and the temp is slowly dropping from the amazing 80 it was today. A nice spring thunderstorm would be great I think.

I was supposed to go into work today, and was not looking forward to spending such a nice day without my kids and indoors. When my husband came home with a migraine and shaking I realized my plans just changed. Not exactly the way I wanted to get a day off, but oh well. He laid on the couch with an ice pack on his head, and I took the kids out in the back yard to play with their Crayola color bubbles. They are pretty cool actually. The last time we used them they came out of Gabe's shirt. This time I'm not so sure if it'll come out since we didn't rinse them right away. They are really bright though! It's sort of like blowing bubbles with tempera paint. Cy was very much enjoying smashing them with her little feet. She is an outdoor child for sure.

Yesterday we took Gabe to baseball practice. He's getting better. He is my son however and getting his feet and arms to move in a logical manor while thinking about what you are supposed to be doing is difficult. He'll get it some day. Hell, I'm almost thirty and at some point I figured out how to throw a ball. He will too.

I spent some time thinking about names for my doula practice...I'm still not any farther. Go figure. I need to set some deadlines for myself and get to work though. I also want to start running again. I need to quit my job. I need to get my daughter to go to sleep at the same time every night. Sigh...

Hoenst Parenting

I don't get it. Why do we lie to new moms? We give them this image that they are going to have their baby, recover for a couple of days, and then everything will be rosy. They will be able to cuddle their baby in one hand and mop the floor with the other.  Even in a wrap that is not an easy thing. You are exhausted like you have never been in your life. You just pushed an entire small human out of your body. Your hormones are going nuts, and your poor sore boobs just leaked all over the pretty new glider you bought for those special bonding moment you envisioned.

Now if you're luck your little bundle of joy will happily sit in a swing. My son would. My daughter...not so much. In fact unless she was in my arm, and on the boob she was screaming. My house never got cleaned! Unless my husband did it of course. He went back to work after a week though. By that point school was out for the summer, and my then five soon to be six year old was home as well. While he could get his own snacks and juice while I nursed in what turned out to be a near three month nursing session, he also made a mess of toys. We also have pets which don't stop losing hair while our world is spinning without us. There were days when I would have begged for my mom to come clean the house, and that is saying something since I hate having people touch my stuff (Crazy I know).

It's not like it gets easier as they get mobile. They just get into trouble and undo what you have done right behind you! Sure, you can get things slighting under control. Get the minimum done, but as the Mom you are always thinking about the hundred other things that didn't get done. I day dream about pre-school and it's to blissful hours of house cleaning.

In our house we have decided to give our lives over to our children. They will only be small for so long after all. We do what we can, and go play! We are always behind on laundry, and probably a million other things. Our kids will always remember playing board games or going to a museum though.

Why are we so hard on each other to keep the perfect house? My house is lived in. My house is not a shrine that no one can touch.  We are a hands on museum for our kids to learn in.

I should be studing!

I registered with Birth Arts International a couple of weeks ago! I'm so excited. Of course right after registering I go sick, and haven't felt like doing much on it. I've been doing my reading, but there is other stuff. I should be doing. I've basically been doing things at night after putting the baby to bed.

I still have my job. Our friend has been coming over and watching the kids for us. That has been a weight off our shoulders for sure. It's still crazy to juggle our schedules, but at least I'm not worried about hiring a stranger to watch the kids. I really still want to quit, but at the same time it may be a nice to get clients. Which I really need. Once I get things going with my doula buisness though I'm OUT OF THERE. I really need to get some business cards printed, and put a website together. I still need a name too. I don't have to have one I guess, but I kinda want one.

Oh! I got a new laptop! One that doesn't over heat. It's very handy when trying to do real work on it.

I suppose I had better listen to myself, and actually do some work tonight...or go to bed. 

Life's directions

Maybe now that the little one sleeps better I can blog again?

I know I thought I was going to not eat out anymore. Ha! There is a resolution down the drain. Life is just too crazy for that. Especially now. Gabe has Cub Scouts, Karl works a ton, and I got a job. It wasn't supposed to be more than seasonal work, but they asked me to stay on. I of course can't say no to money! Except we've gone through half a dozen flaky sitters or good sitters that needed more hours causing them to look elsewhere.The whole thing has left me near tears with worry and frustration. Hubby of course is ready and more than eager to see me quit. I'm just not ready though. I like the job, and love the people. It gives me time out, and even though I'm making next to nothing after child care I am bringing home a pay check.

I'm really not sure when the last time I wrote here was. I'm not sure if I ever wrote about my decision to finally go for it, and jump into something I have been reading and studying for a long time. Birth! I am doing my training to certify as a birth Doula. At the moment I can claim myself as a Doula in training, or really I could just say I am one and never certify as I keep reading that so many do. I kind of want that piece of paper though. I did get to attend my first birth for a friend on Christmas Eve. It was amazing! I'm so ready to do this forever! Her birth was wonderful and pretty naturally perfect.

All of my learning has caused me such stress when it comes to observing other women who are not clients prepare for something so important. These women have spent hours researching cribs, but when you ask them about their birth plan they simply shrug and say "The doctor will decide." Really?! You have a choice, and some that you make at the very start of your labor can change everything about how it ends. You don't really HAVE to get that epidural because your cousin or sister or neighbor told you to. You don't HAVE to be induced because they fear a "big baby". You don't even have to give birth at the hospital with people you don't know. You have CHOICES! Don't wait until that kiddo is out to start parenting. Do the reading. Understand why some many of the standard procedures on induction, c-section, and birth in general are changing back to a more hands off approach. There is a very high infant and mother mortality rate in this country and it must be fixed. The best way is to be informed!

I feel so much better now.

My sweet children are doing wonderfully. I had a quick word with my son's teacher the other day, because my son was stressing about his writing. His teacher said he is doing very well when he stays focused. The baby  is doing great as well. There has been a huge adjustment to me working. Once she has had a sitter a couple of times and gets to know them she does pretty well with them. I just wish I could keep one. It's very hard to have these women in and out of her life. She has been going to sleep for her daddy though which to me is awesome. I went out for a run the other evening. I was gone twenty three minutes, and when I returned she was sleeping! Her vocabulary is coming on fast furious. She is working her way to full sentences pretty quickly. She is still nursing I'm happy to say. Sometimes I think about weening her, but she is just not ready. She finds comfort in nursing that nothing else gives her when she is overwhelmed by her little world. I can't take that away from her. I however would love to have my breasts back!