Feeling homesick

Don't get me wrong. I love our new house. I miss Michigan though. I miss being a hour away from Lake Michigan, and two hours away from fantastic fishing and rows of pine trees. I'm a Northern Michigan girl at heart. We are planning on doing some camping in July, but I'm craving the Great Lakes now!

I'd take the Saginaw Bay, and walleye fishing. Really I would. The river here is just not the same.

We have two new rats coming today. I made the mistake of getting on Craigslist the other day, and there they were! Maude needed friends anyway. They will be here in an hour and half or so. The lady tried to give me a rabbit as well. Um, no thanks!

Talkin Bout My Generation

Until recently I did not know that our generation was called the millennial generation. I don't know how I missed it. I suppose it is because I was too busy living it. I was recently listening to NPR, and they were discussing exactly what we were all about. I found myself nodding along with what they were saying in every way. We worry about being green, human rights, balancing our limited check books, and the biggest of all is raising our families.

Now, I am an AP parent, and I suppose to some that seems just out right crazy. Time magazine and even Parenting shake their heads in confusion. Why on earth would we want to spend hours as mothers breastfeeding our kids, and staying home with a baby wrapped in fabric on our chests? Their are feminists out there that say we are taking major steps back for all women kind. I have to say though that I disagree.

I was raised by a mother that worked. She kissed me soundly, told me I could anything I wanted to be, and then went off to work. I was a latch key kid. Not that it hurt me. I didn't get cupcakes or cookies for my birthday treat unless they were store bought, but honestly I wasn't alone. Our mom's were busy charging forward, so that we could get fantastic educations. For many of us, we at least tried the college thing. We are definitely a generation that knows how to lead, and we do it with gusto! We aren't afraid to speak our minds, find facts to back up our opinions, and then we have a huge stage to proclaim ourselves. Our parents taught us so much about grabbing life by the horns. It's too bad they shake their heads when we do.

I stay home with my kids. I stay home not because I'm the woman, and I should. I stay home, because family is important to us. Not every job affords you the ability to come home when your kids are sick, or do the million other things that children need in order to thrive. We live two and half to five hours away from family in order for my husband to make a good income with a family friendly company. If however, I somehow found a fantastic job that meant we could have the same life or better my husband would quit his job and stay home. He would not feel like less of a man, because he is home with the kids. Being home with the kids has everything to do with our dedication to them, and nothing to do with us.

Of course, there are mothers of our generation that work. I would never say that they are not great mothers, but they are excising their right to work. That's great! Some of them are even A.P. moms. You can bet that many of our generation of parents strive for jobs that allow them the ability to put their families first. In fact many companies are finding that if they want to keep employees they must cater to this demand. I would also say that I know many parents of both sexes of our generation that work part time, or from home in order to make sure they can spend more time with their children. Even if it means a loss of possible income. I know that sometimes that seems crazy, but we all watched our parents work like dogs all these years only to have their portfolios tank in the last ten years. Money is not nearly as important to us as a steady life with happy families. We'll take the smaller rental house, one car, and decent health care thank you very much!

I can see where it looks like we are going backwards, but the fight is just different. Our grandmothers fought to be treated like they counted. Our mothers fought to be treated like equals. We fight for the right to stay home or go to work while never leaving our family sitting at home waiting for us. That was something that many our parents had to do in order to be successful. A woman today should have the right to rule the world! While breastfeeding her baby, and helping an older child with homework. The only thing holding her back is the pushy adult that doesn't understand how to take turns! Or if she wants she should have the right to stay home, and raise her kids without feeling like a free loader or treated like she is stupid. Somewhere along the lines our right to stay home if we wanted was lost. Not wanting to work and making the decision to stay home is very different from being submissive to your husband. In many ways I feel that by staying home I feel that I am the head of our household. I balance the household accounts. I clean the house. I do all of the research on most matters, and generally make the decisions on things. I was raised by a free thinking mother, and I made the decision to stay home to raise well rounded kids. I am a stay at home mom not a house wife. I am also a trained birth doula, and plan to continue my education. When my kids leave the nest in 16ish years I will continue to do work that I love, and feel the my life is fulfilling. Perhaps we won't totally find the balance, but I do believe our generation is the closest yet.

No more driving!

After weeks of driving back and forth we finally have everything out of our old house! Now just to unpack everything here, and get organized. I currently have a giant pile of stuff sitting behind me in the middle of my kitchen floor. I'm really not looking forward to dealing with it, but I must. Along with a million other things. Oh, I dryer did not seem to make the move. A belt is off or something, and it makes a terrible noise when you turn it on. Karl tried to open it up, but can't seem to see anything. I currently have to line dry clothes. :P

I think I need more coffee, and maybe a nap! I have a possible client for Dec though. I had a fantastic meeting with the local doula network a couple of weeks ago, and will soon be putting my info up on their page...just as soon as I can get to updating my website more.

Moved!

Well, more or less. I'm sitting in my pretty new kitchen at a table, so I'll call us moved. We have just one more load of stuff in Grand Rapids to get this next weekend, and we'll be done there. I gotta say for a house in the city I'm pretty in love. The house is 87 years old, and oh so pretty!

I'm not sure how I would take a picture of the entire house really, because it's long and kinda narrow. This is the front porch though, that will hopefully get a swing in the near future. It really lacks in yard space, but we live ten or so minutes from two parks. One of which, has a water park that we have been told is really clean and nice.

We have decided to not partake in the local school, but will be trying out the online public schooling that is offered here in Indiana. It's supposed to be pretty good from the reviews I have read. Lots of field trips, and social things.

We are slowly sorting things out. It has been a bit crazy, and we are exhausted from all the running back and forth, and unpacking in between. Tired does not really capture the feeling. Throwing in food poisoning the first night of moving, and colds this weekend...I'm ready for a break!

Pondering

While doing all the other day to day stuff. I have begun to think about how I would organize that tiny house. There is a half bath and the laundry in the garage, so I'm considering making it into an office or playroom. We are in desperate need of an office space. I spent about thirty minutes this morning looking at pinned office ideas. LOL! Gotta love pinterest.com! We still haven't heard if we got the house, and I really won't be excited unless we hear we did. I'm a planner though. It makes life so much easier if you are even just one step ahead.

I still have not decided if I will be going to FW this weekend. The new medical center is opening this weekend, and Karl will be working all of Sunday. I do me all. It's a twelve hour day. I'm hoping we will know by then about the house. Our realtor said his usual turn around is a week. I'm ready to take it this month if we have to, and then move in at our leisure. I just want to get moved!

Another weekend, another house

Last week we put in our applications for a house that we were once again turned down for. We were countered by someone that was willing to sign a two year contract. :P They also didn't have pets which of course to most landlords is a real plus. Our realtor did show us another house on Saturday. Once again it was tiny, but it had a huge shed in the back and a big field belonging to a church across the street. We'll see. At this point I just want to get moved.

We then went to the botanical gardens. That was fun. They had a ton of tulips planted in the one area. It made me ready to garden again. Unfortunately, we won't be gardening at this house. At least not on the scale that we did here. Flowers only probably. No wine making either as it doesn't have a basement to store it. The bonus of it is that it's really cheap, so we will be stashing money aside, and there is a really good school in the district.

Ironed Jawed Angels

I actually wrote this some time ago, but never posted it. I think I will today...

I was watching Iron Jawed Angel last night and tonight...I have a sick toddler so it took me a bit longer than it should. I began to think. While we have come a long way are we truly free? I feel like I fight an up hill battle every day for my rights. First I am a woman. While I can of course get a wonderful education, and make money that is some fields thanks to the recession woman actually do make more than a man. I still lack in health care rights. We are punished for having children with expensive hospital births that sometimes cost more than some families make in a year. If a woman chooses to give birth at home which has been statistically proven to be just as safe as a hospital when done with care and education, we are shunned by our peers. The government in some cases threatens or does take away our children. Not because they came to harm, but because we exercised our right to make our medical decisions.

Our rights to our own health does not stop there. Now we are told as women to take our daughters in, and vaccinate them against 4 stains of virus out of hundreds that exist. They tell us that this will save our daughters from cervical cancer. To not do this is bad parenting. In California it is a mandatory vaccine. Does this not infringe on our right to be in control of our sexual heath? To me the next step is mandatory chemical birth control for all teenage girls. After all, it's for their own good. While some people would argue that giving them birth control would encourage sex at a young age that argument was waved aside by pro-vaccine advocates. After all telling these kids that the vaccine does not protect them from all strains will stop them...because telling them the birth control is not 100% has worked terribly well.

We also are under educated in how reproduction works. What chemical birth control does to our bodies, and how fertility really works. We are told that we shouldn't bother charting, because it means nothing. Except it does. It can show patterns in fertility that a blood panel simply can't. We have little understanding of how child birth works, and then fear it all the way to  the labor bed where we blindly nod as the doctor offers an epidural, pitocin, ruptured membranes, and a c-section.

I fight for my right to breastfeed in a society that simply does not remember a time when we breastfed beyond year one, and for most it's a miracle if woman get the support and encouragement to go beyond the first weeks of life. Some where in our fight to show that we are equal to men and can do it all we lost our one of those special talents to be women. That we have produce both life and food to support that life. As long as we take the time to nurture that ability. When we fought for our right in the work place we gave up our right to nurse our children without risk of criticized by our male counterparts. We give up without truly trying, because even many women don't support our right to feed our kids as we see fit. Today as I work on this there is a bill in Georgia that would allow breastfeeding in public to be considered indecent!

My last struggle is not everyone's. I'm a Pagan. I don't yell it from the roof tops, but I am. My rights as such are limited. Some groups of government acknowledge certain paths. I conform to none. To most we are just nuts who run through the woods naked. Some think we worship the devil. I do neither. We don't have churches per say, and most would not allow them in their community. We do not try to convert others, but having people on a regular basis trying to convert us. We are made fun of openly, and no one speaks up for us but perhaps those that are angry and tired of being made fun of. Most organization do not recognize us, and will refuse to authorize us. We don't build schools for our children. The grants are simply impossible for a Pagan community. I've tried.

So, have we come a long ways in earning rights for all? Of course we have! We have also traded off some very simple family choices in the process. Hopefully, people will never stop fighting for those rights. I know I won't. I'm not a scream it from the rooftops advocate, but when push comes to shove I guess I can be. Life choices are not always simple. We should have the right to make them for ourselves though.